Years ago I had a persistent and annoying pain in my upper back. I mentioned it to my doctor, my Primary Care Physician, during a routine visit. What followed was a mind bending series of tests, including a brain scan with injected contrast, all to no avail. Finally my PCP, scratching his head, referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.
During my visit, the specialist asked me a couple of questions, beginning with “where does it hurt” and then pressed a thumb confidently into my back. “Does this hurt?” he asked. It was an unnecessary inquiry since I almost jumped off the table. “You have tendonitis. “ Elapsed time: about 30 seconds.
When I’m in a fog; faced with decisions I don’t know how to make, and feeling stuck and frustrated I remember the tendonitis incident. Then I attempt to get to the “thumb in the back” stage as quickly as possible. Here is the sequence:
- Admit that I need help; that I can’t figure this on out on my own.
- Acknowledge that there is a specialist out there who can help me, and is prepared to help me.
- Work hard at finding the right person, expecting a couple of false starts.
- Keep notes, including honest assessments of what’s working, what’s not working, what the opportunities and challenges are, and being clear about who I’m competing with.
- Accept that this is a process; that it will take time, be frustrating, and will only work if I stick with it.
- Repeat
I hate admitting that I need help. I’m supposed to be the specialist. But the reality is that we each suffer from a special blindness when it comes to diagnosing our own illnesses. And we need help.
Who is helping you?